The Misadventures Of Wocky Kitaki
by nekonohime
Summary: A collection of silly oneshot stories of Wocky's everyday endeavors. May contain crack.
1. Introduction

Hello again. Since I've seen a ton of people do 'oneshot collections', I decided to do one too... With Wocky! :D (And plus I need a break from my 'real' fics sometimes.)

I know there've been two of them ("The Wocky Chronicles" by demonprosecutor and "Kitaki OG Chronicles" by Ai Ga Hoshii Dake) but they were written a VERY long time ago and they were pretty much discontinued, so I decided to make my own.

These will be very silly and cracky oneshots, and they might even be a little OOC, but hey, they don't call 'em crackfics for nothing!

Well, I hope you enjoy this collection of randomness and silliness!


	2. Ice Cream

It was hot on this fine summer day as Apollo Justice was walking down the street, thinking about his newest case.

_"My client sure was upset today", _He thought, _"I really hope I can-"_

Suddenly he heard the sound of an obnoxious children's tune playing in the distance.

A few moments later he saw an ice cream truck stop by where he was standing, with a group of elementary school kids that had follwed getting themselves ice cream.

Apollo chuckled and said, _"I remember those days... I really liked the chocolate fudge swirl cone..."_

"WAIT UUUUUUUUUUP~"

He turned around to see his former client Wocky Kitaki a few feet behind, running as well.

_"Oh god..."  
_

When Wocky finally caught up, he saw Apollo and said, "Pollo! You gettin' ice cream too?"

"Umm... No. And aren't you a little old to be chasing down an ice cream truck?"

Wocky took offense to that and said, "Naw! It's real hot today, y'know? An' what's betta than a chocolate fudge swirl cone?"

The line got smaller and smaller as they talked, until it was Wocky's turn.

The ice cream vendor looked at him and said, "Hello, Wocky!"

"Yo, Bob!"

Apollo got a blank look on his face.

_"They're on a first name basis?!"  
_

"What would you like today?"

"I wanna chocolate fudge swirl cone!"

"Coming right up..."

Wocky turned back to Apollo and gave him a raspberry.

_"He hasn't changed one bit."  
_

"Here you go, Wocky; One chocolate fudge swirl cone."

Wocky gave him the money and said, "Thanks, Bob, I'll catcha lata!"

Soon the ice cream truck slowly drove away and Wocky walked away, happily licking his ice cream cone.

Apollo himself started to walk again, a few feet behind him.

He then dug into his pockets, seeing if he had enough money for his own cone.

_"Maybe I should get a chocolate fudge swirl cone too..."_

He then started to run after the ice cream truck, just as Wocky had done before.

Wocky laughed at him as he ran and said, "Knew ya couldn't resist!"

"WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT~" Apollo shouted, using his 'Chords of Steel' as he continued to run after the truck.

_"Y'know, for a lawyer guy", _Wocky thought as he walked back towards his house, _"He's real cool... But a lil' wierd too."_


	3. Karaoke Bar

One night, Wocky was at a karaoke bar by himself, mainly because he heard about some 'fly lookin' honeys' that hung out there.

So far: No luck.

_"Dayum, none o' these gurls are diggin' me at all..."_

But then, at that moment, he saw Trucy sitting at one of the tables with her friend Pearl.

He walked up to them and started talking to them.

"Well if it ain't Shorty! Whadda ya doin' here?"

"Oh, hi Wocky!" Trucy said as she giggled, "I was showing Pearl around the city, and I wanted her to see this place, since it's so much fun!"

Pearl looked at him and smiled.

"Hello", She said as she waved.

Wocky twirled his hair bashfully and said, "Hey..."

Trucy then took his arm and said, "C'mon, you _gotta _sing something!"

_Dammit, I wanted to talk to that lil' honey..."_

She then shoved him into a random karaoke box and shut the door.

Before the song started Wocky picked up the microphone nervously. He wasn't planning on actually karaoking tonight.

_"They betta not throw some weird ass song on me..."_

Soon the song started, and a screen displayed some weird seventies anime with a girl with a large bust and scantally clad fighting bad guys.

Soon the lyrics started appearing on the screen in Japanese romaji with hiragana below them.

_Kono goro hayari no onnanoko_

_Oshiri no chiisana onnanoko_

_Kocchi wo muite yo HONEY_

_Datte nandaka_

_Datte datte nanda mo_

_Onegai onegai kizutsukenai de_

_Watashi no HEART wa_

_Chukuchuki shichau no_

_Iya yo iya yo iya yo_

_Mitsu mecha iya~_

_HONEY FLASH!_

Trucy was laughing hysterically at Wocky singing this song, as Pearl giggled softly.

"I'm surpised he actually knows that song", She said, "I heard he watched anime, but this is ridiculous!"

"Reminds of Mystic Maya with the Steel Samurai", Pearl said.

When the song was done, Wocky walked out of the box and saw Trucy and Pearl laughing at him.

He turned red and said, "Whadda ya laughin' at?!"

"You", Trucy said as she was still giggling, "You sounded so silly singing that song!"

"It was yer fault! You made me sing it!"

"You like that song, don't you? You knew_ all_ the words!"

Wocky turned even redder and said, "The words were right in front of me!"

"You sing very well", Pearl said as she looked at him.

He smiled wide and said, "R-Really?!"

"Uh huh."

They then sat at a table nearby and talked and had a good time for the rest of the night.


	4. Home Movies

It was just another boring day at the Kitaki's mansion; Wocky had invited some of his friends over to watch some old DVDs he found in his closet while cleaning his room, mother's orders. Trucy was one of the invited, as well as Apollo, who she dragged along with them, and Pearl, whoWocky had met a little while ago and had a crush on her.

"What are those DVDs, exactly?" Apollo asked Wocky as he sat in between Trucy and Pearl on the couch.

"I dunno", He responded as he sat next to Pearl, "I think they're some old 'Steel Samurai' ones, but I ain't sure, 'cause they don't got a label or nothin'."

"Why don't we find out?" Pearl asked, "It would be nice to watch the 'Steel Samurai' again..."

"_You _seen 'Steel Samurai'?! Fo' _real_?!"

"Yes, I used to watch it with my cousin Mystic Maya. She was a big fan."

"Wow..."

Wocky then stood up, put the DVD in the player and said, "Awright, let's start this thing up!"

He then sat back down and waited for the DVD to start up.

And when it did, boy, did he get quite a surprise.

Everyone saw a home movie of a toddler in nothing but a diaper who was struggling to walk.

"Come here, sweetie", His mother said as she coaxed him over to her, "You can do it, walk to Mamma."

"WHAT DA HELL?!" Wocky yelled as he saw this, "W-WHA-"

"Awwww~", Trucy said, "You were such a cute baby~"

"T-T-THAT AIN'T ME!" He snapped.

"Yes it is", Pearl said with a smile, "You still have the same face."

Wocky blushed, covered his face and said, "Do not!"

_"Just great", _Apollo thought, _"I'm stuck here watching Wocky's home movies..."_

Everyone looked back at the video and saw another scene with baby Wocky in a bathtub splashing water about and laughing.

"Ack!" His father said, "You're gettin' water all over me!"

Trucy squealed again and clinged to Wocky saying, "Soooo cuuuuuute~"

Pearl smiled at the screen as Wocky continued to blush his head off.

Suddenly Plum Kitaki came walking in from the kitchen wondering what all the commotion was.

"What's all the ruckus in-"

She saw the TV screen and smiled at the current scene playing.

"Oh", She sighed, "Are you trying to relive your childhood?"

"N-N-N-No!" Wocky stuttered, "I-I thought this was my 'Steel Samurai' DVD!"

"Yet you're watching it anyway."

"'Cause... I-I don't know!"

"Awwww, look, Little Plum", Trucy said, "Is that Wocky in those cute fox footsie pajamas?"

Everyone looked to see three year old Wocky wearing footsie pajamas, complete with fox ears and tail.

Wocky screamed at the top of his lungs and ran out of the house, completely humiliated.


	5. Halloween

On one Halloween night, Wocky Kitaki, Cody Hackins, Trucy Wright and Pearl Fey were out trick or treating.

Wocky was Tuxedo Mask, Cody was wearing his Steel Samurai costume, Trucy kept on her magician's clothes and Pearl was Sailor Moon.

"We got a lot of candy, didn't we?" Trucy said excitedly as she showed everybody her bucket of treats.

"Yeah", Cody answered, "But I got more than you!"

Soon a roll of toilet paper rolled out from inside of the arm of his costume.

"Umm", Pearl asked, "... Why do you have... Toilet paper?"

"N-Nothin'!"

Cody quickly went to pick it up and whispered to Wocky, "Dude, they're gonna find us out! What do we do?"

"I-I dunno!" He answered, "Let's jus' lie to 'em!"

They turned back to the girls as Wocky said, "Well, you see... Cody had to use the bathroom in the woods and-"

"Wocky!"

"W-What? We didn't do anything!"

Suddenly a roar was heard in the distance.

"... Oh shit."

"W-Well", Cody said, "G-Good night, guys!"

As he was about to leave, someone grabbed him from behind, scaring him senseless.

"WHY YOU LITTLE WHIPPERSNAPPERS! YOU'RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID!"

The crazy old woman, Wendy Oldbag, was clearly in a rage.

"W-What are you talkin' 'bout?" Wocky asked, "We ain't done nothin'!"

"YOU!"

Wocky gulped.

"YOU TEE PEED MY HOUSE, DIDN'T YOU?"

The girls looked at him in disgust.

"You... Tee peed her house?" Pearl asked angrily, "I can't believe you did something so... Childish!"

Pearl then slapped Wocky and Cody, causing them to squeal in pain.

"Serves you right!" Oldbag said, "Why, in my day boys were much more chivalrous! They didn't go about putting toilet paper on peoples house and cause a poor old woman to have to call someone to help her take it down and suffer massive-"

"ALL RIGHT ALREADY!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!"

Oldbag then got the phone numbers of Wocky and Cody's parents and went off to call them.

Later on that night, Wocky and Cody both got grounded for a month and were forced to do chores for Oldbag.


End file.
